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Life is no bed of roses

it is made with broken glass

My heart is completely broken, but it surprise me anyway by racing amok every night.
I've been so blind trying to hold everything together that I didn't see what I now beginning to understand. With solitude and distance, I begin to understand why my confidence is on the bottom of a well, why I feel completely useless, never good enough and why I felt socially awkward and unwelcome. I feel like a total looser.

The future is like a black hole, it sucks all the light and energy, and I don't know whats around the bend. It is hard to make plans, because I'm worried if I will manage the economy and the house on my own. I have no idea what life will look like in a couple of years. 

One thing is for sure. I will never ever give away my heart so completely again. Well it is lost anyway and broken.

I do hope I will find my mojo soon. By that, I mean my creativity and imagination. The science departement at our university is renovating and was going to throw these old boxes that contained microscopic samples. I asked nicely and could take them home. 

I also found the microscopic slides in the waste bin. I didn't ask and I took lots of them as well. Some of them are 100 years old and marked with tiny labels and capillacious handwriting. How about a liver sample from cat?

One of the professors was obviously very fond of smoking because the biology samples were collected in match boxes and cigar boxes.

So in waiting of mojo and time, I hope to create something mixed media/steampunk with this if the future will allow me.

Return of the light

Wow. Time flies so fast that I hardly have time to catch my breath. I'm about to wrap up  my graduation from University and finally become a certified teacher. Boy it has been some exhausting three years. I'm exhausted and tired of school. Right now, I'm also a bit tired of my work as well, because the work weeks are soo busy. A full time teacher works a lot more than others, thats why we have these long vacations at summer, for hibernation. I have a short trip to Edinburgh to look forward to soon. If you have been there and have some good tips, please write me a comment.

Winters have become shorter, thats sad (global warming alert). We had a few weeks with lots of snow and coldness along with sunny days and those conditions are perfect for outdoor fun. I love skiis and skating and I'm thankful that my son still want me as a companion on skii picknicks in the forests. He's soon becoming a teenager.
I'm trying to persuade him to follow me on a daytrip to the mountains for down hill skiing, we'll see.

One reason that I don't write here that much anymore is that I've started journaling the analogue way. I jot down small thoughts and use the journal to process things that makes me sad.  I've had some bad things happen that made me fall back in a depression last summer, but writing everything down helped me a lot. I also print out, glue in photos and decorate the journal with washi and paper scraps. The inspiration comes from instagram and youtube videos about Midori Travellers Notebook and junk journaling.

Here's a short list of inspirational and favourite videos, there are both flip through, tutorials and journaling videos. I really need some quiet time with my papers and glue to cope. Oh and throw in some glitter too!

Andrea G Scripture junk journal

Tiffy butter How i make my Junk journals

Amity Bloom Midori Journaling

Tutorials of Ephemeras Garden

 The photos below shows an example of a junk notebook I made for a coworker as a birthday gift. She likes flowers, green and orange, as you can see.

Things that happens right now, bad desciscions and cruel bills are written and affect people world wide, it makes me worried. The facebook feed fills up with political articles by a particular face. My challenge this week is to log out from facebook for a week and avoid the news. 

Remember that if you are at the bottom of the well and look up, you will see the light in the tunnel.

Halloween inspiration

This night a heavy breeze of colder air visited us, it was one of the signs that announce the arrival of autumn. I had to close the window to shut the moaning that prohibited my sleep. Another sign has been rows of canada goose flying to the south. 

To be honest. I have really enjoyed this summer, enjoyed my long holiday so much that I will miss these warm days with abundance of vegetables and berries from the garden. Luckily, this crybaby has adopted the Halloween holiday and embraced it with a passion close to madness, wich makes autumn something to look forward to. 

So, to prepare both myself and you, I'll show you how I survive in this desert of Halloween decorations called Sweden: By doing it myself.

This particular box was made for an internet/blog/facebook friend of mine at a Halloween swap last year. She lives in the US and should therefore be spoilt with seasonal decorations. Please check out her fabulous blog for garden, teaching, gothic inspo.

First of all, I bring out all my supplies that could have a match to something autumn/Halloweenish. Creative caos, that is. 

I use the Vintage moth as a supplier of vintage pictures. The candy bags in the photo below is made in photoshop with images from the mentioned blog. I print on ordinary printer paper, folding, glueing and cutting the edge.

This is a tin that usually contains mint pastilles. The scull head covered the text perfectly.

It contains a pair of ear dangles made of clock hands and chandellier crystals.

This blurry photo below is an ornament that could even work in a Christmas tree. The bulb is an old light bulb were I removed everything but the glass bulb. It contains black glass glitter and is embellished with a flower.

I never throw candle stumps away, I re-melt them to new candles. The lantern in the photos below was made of a small jar, it is filled with fragrant and re melted candle stumps. The jar was decorated with ribbons, lace and images. An antique chandelier chrystal is hanging at the bottom secured by wire. The wire handle and the chain is also made by me.

front

back

Heres another ornament, flip and front side. It is made of a bake form, chandelier chrystal, old images, black glitter and orange ribbons.

Everything was neatly packed in a box that used to contain hair products but is now decorated with bats and lace.

Everything of these are actually very easy to do. It's just a matter of the right tools, glue, hoarding stuff and imagination. I don't like kitschy, cheap looking halloween decorations, I prefer the vintage/victorian look. Even if my supplies are almost for free, I put a lot of effort to make it look luxurious or as if it's antique.

I hope that I could give you some inspiration and tips what you can do of scraps. See you soon, I hope :-)

More planning

The Carpe Diem pages were a bit far from who I am and my style, so I made my own dividers and pockets for the calendar. The colourtheme is the same as for my work space; brown, black and white.

The first insert have a pocket with wallpaper scraps to use as decoration or notes.

The other side of the insert has some tiny post it notes. I love these tiny ones. I use them for my to-do stuff. When I have done them, I can just remove them from the calendar or, I can move them forward (the perfect procrastination). 

The first page of the calendar are just some glued together scraps. I had to add an owl. 

This is an example of a month divider. 

If I have the time, I will decorate every week. This will make work and studies more fun, right?

This is the Valentine week, apparently. 

You can see some of my classes here too, math and chemistry. But monday and tuesday will be spent at university and the seminars.

Some things are blurred for integrity.

Another non-planned week, with a vintage style

Some of the Carpe Diem pockets are left to be replaced later. I made a clever pop up pocket for eventual notes or to do lists, or any list.

My memory is on paper

My memory is made of teflon, it's a common disorder for people who are brain-workers. I forget meetings, reporting students on vacation, and all those small things I have to fix to make the world go round. A planner is essential for my daily life and I've concluded that google calendar doesn't work for me. 

To keep my stress level down, I use mini post it notes for "to do" tasks. I post them in my planner, and when I've finished each task I throw the notes away. I can also move the notes to another day if something more important comes up. That means I only have to focus on one day at a time, being present, carpe diem and shit like that...

The problem with prefabricated templates is that they sometimes doesn't fit your needs. My teachers planner worked just fine, but I thought it was a little bit boring and limiting. After some good advices from my sister in law who also is a teacher, I bought a planner from Simple stories in A5 size. I liked it because of the pockets, the dotted lining and the size. But the main thing is that the ring opener is making you able to personalize it more.

I bought mine from Skaparlusten. I can highly recommend any swedish people who likes stationery this shop, because I got my parcel within two days. And she called me the day after I put my order because one of the items were out of stock. I told her to change it with something that fitted the rest of my order and she sent me the clips and inserts for the planner. 

I wanted my week plan to look more like a schedule than the horizontal one that came with the planner. Publisher is an excellent office based programme that is easy to use, making templates. I kept mine simple because I'm supposed to alter it for every week.

If someone is interested, I have this template in pdf-format to send to you. Note that you print it on A4, divide the paper in half and make your own holes fitting your planner. Oh and if you like, I can change the days to english or change the fonts, easy peasy.

DIY Nailpolish shelf

I'm so sorry for not keeping up reading your blogs. I really don't have the time. I thought this semester would be easier but apart from the teaching schedule I have a large bunch of students to help them to fix old failed examinas. Plus no time for studying myself, bohoo!
A while ago, I got this great idea. I was tired of digging for the right colour in the basket where I store my nailpolishes . I thought of looking for a spice shelf but something made of acrylic would be more practical. It's easier to see the package and the colour with a transparent material, right? 
My idea took shape after som measuring and scetching. And it is easier than I thought, so I must share it with you :-)

First of all you need acrylic plastic. Check the size your supplier sells and calculate how much you need. I hung my shelves on the inside of the bathroom cupboard and the sheets with the size below were perfect. On both sides there is a plastic shield that you should leave until it's time to heat the plastic

The shelv is basically a rectangular piece that is bent two times to form the shelf. First I take a fine toothed saw (for sawing steel tubes etc) and cut of 10mm on the lenght side. This part will be sides of the shelves.

On the side that will be the upper part of the shelf, two holes for hanging is drilled. I recommend you to buy screws in the right dimension before you drill a hole.

Now is the time to remove the shielding plastic. Take a sharp needle or something and a ruler. Measure out were the bends should be placed and carve a line with the help by the ruler and needle. Use a heating gun to warm the plastic on both sides. Remember, this will need time, patience and control. If you heat the plastic to much the plastic will bubble before you even notice. Too little and the plastic will never bend. 

Note that your surface should be CLEAN. I got some spots on the acrylic while working on this bench. Anyway the steel lined work bench were perfect for this job. With some help of a scrapped steel plate I bent the front of the becoming shelf. Don't take short cuts on this, the bend must be 90 degrees.

Heat again on both sides of the plastic and bend again. 

This is how the finished shelf looks like in a closeup. A piece of acrylic is glued with super glue on the sides. The nail polish bottles slip very easy.

Shelves are ready to be filled. Well I filled them and there were half of the nailpolishes left. So I have to make some more of these. One cannot have too many nailpolishes.

A shitty summer turned to a nice autumn. No frost yet and some weird delays in natures circle like, flying ants 22 of august instead of the 8th like they always do. I'm convinced it's the pollution.

 I finally got some black hollycocks in bloom. They have a different shade depending on the light, its very nice. I got a row of large sunflowers filled with seeds. The bumblebees likes to rest in them. Some of them get slower and slower until they die hanging on the flower. Anyway the seeds will become healthy sprouts for the winter.

Styling my workspace

I got a new office. Yay! It's still a shared office but I have the fortune to sit with very nice people. We have our own entrance and a felt carpet that lower all sounds.

I use my Spooky box club bag to work, because the perfect size, sturdy and fabulous fabric.

My "dorm" goes in the colours of birch, grey, white and black and those are the colours I chosed to pimp my notebooks and calendar with. The seashellprints are made by Haeckel. If you google search the name you will find lots of amazing and detailed drawings of natural forms.

A teacher needs a calendar for all sorts of events. I tried a few weeks last year without one and missed a few appointments before I learned my lesson.

Maybe I will show you a photo of my office later.

This was supposed to be a long post with lots of photos of nature, bathing, planes, a festival etc. But I didn't have the energy to bother you with old news. The end of the summer was either way amazing. 

Now I look forward to an amazing semester with lots of new teenagers to meet.

Tutorial: Make your own candles and a Giveaway

For you dear readers who has kept on reading my blog inspite of boring and delayed posts I will have a giveaway this post, to thank you all. 

First I would like to share a tutorial with you of how to make candles. 

I guess that you have already noticed that I'm interested in non-polluting issues? I don't like to waste things that can be reused at least once before throwing away  leaving it in the recycling bin.

Make your own block candles. 

What you need:

cotton yarn (for chrocheting, any colour will do)

empty beer cans or pringle tubes etc

adhesive putty

a stick, twig, pen (of that sort)

rests of candles, parraffine or stearine

a saucepan and an empty can

(one of my burning beer can candles)

The yarn is for the wick. You can choose to twine it double or you can braid it. I chosed to braid it this time because the double twined is a bit too thin (dependes on the thickness of the yarn of course). It takes time but it's worth a little patience. You can also buy premade candlewick but then you pay for something you propably already have. 

Pinch a hole in the center of the bottom of the beer can and tuck the wick through the hole, maybe you need to use a chrocheting hook to pull the wick through (I did). Tie a knot at the bottom and secure the hole and knot with lots of putty. 

Hold the wick straight and pull a stick through the braid or tie the braid around it. You need to keep the wick in the centre.

Melt your remnants from old candles but remove the coaled wick first. For a beer candle you need approx. 400 g of material. Heat water in the saucepan on the stove and put a can with stearine in the water to melt.

When everything is melted pour it in your mold (beer can) but leave a little.

As you can see on the photo above, I have used socks to isolate the can. This was an useless experiment. I wanted to prevent pipe forming during cooling but it didn't work.

After a couple of hours, a pipe is forming in the middle. It is neccessary to melt more stearine and to fill it up. If you don't, the wick won't longer be centered and instead, you have a hole in the middle. 

It's important that you work on a sturdy surface like a kitchen bench the putty can leak hot stearine.

Leave the candle to cool over night and peel off the can. Don't throw aluminum in your ordinary waste bin. Metal and especially aluminum is very energy saving to recycle. 

This is how one of my candles turned out (below). It is made of remnants from halloween candles.

Next tutorial is a glass jar candle and also the one I will share to one of my readers...

Use an old holder from a tea candle and press the hole open with a metal pin (or something). Pull the wick through and press the hole tight again with a plier. Glue the holder to the center of the bottom of a glass jar with hot glue.

 Here's another tip I can give you: old tea light holders are made in aluminum but the wick holder is made of steel. If you put those in the recycling bin you need to separate the wick holder from the aluminum, otherwise the aluminum will follow the steel holder with the magnetic separator and end up as fumes in the air (not very good, right ?). 

Ok, well. Center the wick in the same fashion as the beer candle and do the same procedure. 

If you have some oilscents you like, you can add a few drops to the molten stearine before pouring it in you mold. 

The giveaway

Voilá. Here it is my own recycled jar candle, offered for you as a give away. I embellished the jar with some prints and scraps. 

The oil scent is all natural oils, citrus and ylang-ylang for example.

To join the giveaway you only have to leave a comment and tell me that your'e in. Leave your e-mail adress or tell me how to contact you in other ways.

Take care precious ones!!

The giveaway will be open 2,5 weeks from now, and it is worldwide of course :-)