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måndag 31 december 2018

I was supposed to...but I didn't. A last look in the rearview mirror of 2018

As the header says, I was supposed to do something, bud I chosed not to do it. I was supposed to  study this autumn physiology and anatomy and resourceful developement, with the goal to gain another teacher examina. The autumn started really bad at work, the supposedly fabulous schedule was a catastrophy, with double bookings or no class rooms. This stressed me out so badly that I seriously considered quitting my job. I must say that it wasn't the principals fault at all, just some unfortunate misunderstandings. The other reason I choosed not to study is that I got my own study room. It sounds funny saying it like this, but actually...My stepdaughter moved out for good and we had one room free. Instead of having my desk in the hallway, were it was impossible to work in peace, I got a door to close and a room that is only mine. To make it completely perfect I had to paint the walls a little and paint  all the furnitures. All my sparetime has gone to perfecting this place, to get the calm and inspirational haven for me. I will show you photos of it in my next post.

It is with a bit sad feelings, I'm leaving this year. It has been mostly good and maybe the best year in several years. I have to mention one sad thing. My father is in bad condition, but I leave this year with hope for a good progress.
Time is a good medicine, it gives you distance to some things and another perspective of them as well. I have come closer to my true self. Instead of insanity and self harming, because people around me makes me feel wrong in every aspect, I now know that I'm not an idiot, not mean or angry. I'm not the problem, it is other people who got problems and make me responsible for it. 
All the black clothes weighed me down and didn't reflect my energy. I have so much energy, that I can bee too much of everything sometimes. Sometimes it makes me exhausted as well, LOL.
Please, don't mind my pressed lips. I HATE selfies. 
I learned about Dressing Your thruth, through a Danish youtuber (who helps people to organise their life).
Dressing your truth was developed by Carol Tuttle in Utah. It is a combination of personality test, colour coded dressing, and wellness. Some elements are a bit too pseudo science for a person (scientist) like me but other elements are very helpful. The program really helped me to come to the conclusions above. 

The absolute best thing that happened this year, was our vacation to Vesterålen and Lofoten in Norway. It was MAGICAL. I will carry this trip in my heart forever, I wan't to travel to places like this. I don't wan't busy towns and noises. I wan't to se the ocean, mountains, a never ending shoreline, and the sound of nothing but nature.


It was amazing to have my kids along . I have got the opportunity to have long conversations with my oldest and we have become more close to each other. No partner or spouse can compete the love you feel for you children.

At home we had several things happening, at last!!!!
We got a new heating system installed. We got a new bathroom renovated.
I started to build my chicken coop, this summer. It's not finished yet. I have isolated our garden shed and put in a window. And it got a new roof.
The upper window seal is still missing in this photo. The hole in the wall will become the little door for the chickens.

2019
My plans for next year are following:
Assigning for new university classes in the autumn (another try)
Renovate Alfons room (my youngest), starting tomorrow
Finish my chicken coop
Maybe, do some renovating on the house as well
Saving money for more renovations.
Loose more weight. I lost 10 kg already but I have about 20 kg's left.
Be true to myself.

What plans do you have for next year?
Oh, and please don't call it resolutions. If you fail to keep them, well you fail. Plans is a better word, because plans can change, right?

Happy New Year <3 .="" p="">

9 kommentarer:

  1. It's so good to hear from you and especially that you seem to feel so good about yourself! Just stay the way you are and you will be happy!

    SvaraRadera
  2. It sounds like a fun a year and exciting 2018. I wish you all the best for 2019.

    SvaraRadera
    Svar
    1. I wish you a fantastic 2019 as well <3

      Radera
  3. Önskar dig ALLT gott detta nya år vännen,
    hoppas även att din pappa kommer att må bättre!
    KRAM

    SvaraRadera
  4. Åh hoppas din pappa kryar på sig och att ditt jobb kommer kännas bättre detta år! Jag föredrar också att kalla det planer eller önskningar istället för löften :D jag vill självklart åstadkomma dem men ändå inte känna samma press.

    SvaraRadera
  5. Something seems to be in the air this New Year's -- so many of us are digging deep, becoming friends with our true selves and accepting our "true light/colors" (as you so beautifully put it). Good luck with everything and have a most wonderful New Year, my friend. I can't wait to follow you along this path!

    SvaraRadera